Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
