i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
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shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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