it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize