Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize