K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
