? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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