never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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