I wish I could teleport
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
