try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
