Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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