And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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