CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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