His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
smell my finger.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
