And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
