You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
