i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Welp...herpes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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