i permit you to call me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
