I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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