I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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