yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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