why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
