hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
