Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
