Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
