I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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