We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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