I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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