He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
