Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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