Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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