are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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