You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
this just has baby written all over it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
