Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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