I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
