Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
