I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize