There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
