Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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