i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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