So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
