Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Brb crying the tears of my youth
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
