If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
