I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize