kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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