Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
