I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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