drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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