you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
