I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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