O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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