turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
