i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
