I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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