kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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